TDC Halloween Special V: Mr and Miss Yoshida
Quotes WTF Are You Actually Doing At Night? Yoshi: Ok Jess, I seriously have no idea what you're doing at nighttime. Jessie: And I have no fucking idea what you're doing at night as well. Yoshi: Well it's something you don't like. Jessie: Oh really, dad? Let's look back at what happened 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago... Yoshi: Hmmm... what's this? (reads) Greetings 179, your mission is to eliminate Hyden Morinah because he has found where I've been keeping my interns. McLean out. Hmmm... I better ask Jessie where Barbara is having her next party because I'm pretty sure Hyden is going to chaperone it. 12 hours later... Yoshi: Hey Jess, do you know where and when Barbara is throwing her next party? Jessie: Sure dad, Barbara is having a balls-deep roof-top party in Beverly Hills. Why do you ask? Yoshi: Just wanting to know because Barbara is one of your friends and I hope she isn't giving you drugs. Jessie: Hmmm... that sounded like a lie because Barbara would never give me drugs. What Jessie Is Actually Doing Yoshi: Ok, I've got my rifle out with 20 bullets in it, which means I've got 20 shots at this. Now time to narrow my eyes and aim for Hyden's chest... wait a minute, some mysterious red-haired skank is in my way. Hey bitch, please move so I can shoot! (Mysterious Red-Haired Girl stabs Hyden in the chest) Yoshi: Aw fuck, now I can't get paid! Next night... Jessie: Son of a fuck, I just can't get Hispanic blood off this knife! It must be something they eat that our family doesn't. Yoshi: Jessie, what are you doing in the kitchen? Jessie: Just washing the dishes, dad. Yoshi: (points to the red wig) Could you please explain what that is? Jessie: Oh that thing? Just something to hold the utensils. Yoshi: Yeah right, you were the mystery skank who killed Hyden, which was something I was supposed to do. Jessie: Wait a moment dad, are you an assassin? Yoshi: Same to you Jess, you're really an assassin? Jessie: Of course, I had to take the job because I applied for a part-time job at various fast-food places several times but nobody wanted to hire me. Yoshi: And I took the assassin job because I needed the extra cash since your mom keeps getting arrested. Jessie: I think I might solve that problem by shooting her while she's sleeping. Yoshi: No, I am. Jessie: Nuh-uh, I'm wasting that bitch! Yoshi: If you kill her before I get a chance to, I'll ground you until you're 21. Jessie: Perhaps we should calm down and I'll make us dinner and forget this whole argument happened. Now The Secret's Been Revealed, It's Time For The Shootdown Yoshi: Mmm... the first course was delicious. Jessie: Thanks dad. Thank goodness I chose to do Home Ec over Shop Class. Would you like seconds? Yoshi: (In his mind) Gotta say no, she could add poison to it. Yoshi: Yes please! Yoshi: (In his mind) God damn it! 10 minutes later... Jessie: Hey dad, I made dessert. Yoshi: (In his mind) Hmm... not bad, but I still have to kill her. Yoshi: Son of a bitch, I'll kill her after dessert! Jessie: (gasps, then pulls a gun out of a pie) Did you just say you were trying to kill me? Yoshi: (pulls out a gun) Yeah, because you're fucking with my assassinating business! Jessie: I make $75K for every person I kill. How much do you make? Yoshi: I only get $30K, plus whatever's in the dead guy's wallet. (Jessie and Yoshi start firing their guns at each other) Rachel-Lou: Guys, could you please stop this? I'm trying to sleep. Yoshi: Uh Rachel, if you go to bed right now and not tell anyone what we just did, I'll let you have an ice-cream breakfast in bed tomorrow. Rachel-Lou: Yay! Ice-cream, ice-cream, ice-cream, bed, bed, bed! Thanks, Superdad! Jessie: Oh great, now my sister's going to go to school with a tummy ache and would probably blame me if she barfs. (starts crying) And you know where Superdad is going to be in 2 days? At my funeral! (Pulls out a ninja sword and aims it at her stomach) (Doorbell rings) Officer Fletcher: Excuse me you two, but I've received a complaint from The Baxfields saying that you guys are making too much noise. Jessie: Oh shut the fuck up. (throws the sword and kills Officer Fletcher) Yoshi: Holy shit, I can't believe you just did that. Not even I can do that and I'm about twice your age. Ending All The Bad Shit Yoshi: So after Jessie killed Officer Fletcher before he charged us for disturbing the peace, we decided not to fight against each other anymore. Jessie: Yeah, Yoshi's now more than a dad now, he's also one of my friends. Principal Kennedy: Yeah, but this is about Rachel-Lou's behavior during Science because 2 weeks ago, she threw up on the floor and broke the teacher's back. (Jessie and Yoshi pull out their guns and shoots Principal Kennedy) Principal Kennedy: (groans) Remember me as the guy who is Seymour Skinner and Brian Lewis combined. Jessie: Fuck no. Trivia * 179 is Yoshi's weight Gallery Category:Season 4 Category:Non-Canon Category:Episodes